Sean Blake is lucky to be alive. Through recovery, developing self-compassion, Sean now advocates for early intervention with a society that understands this mental illness more.

Sean Blake, an Irishman from Swords, Dublin, made his way to a Brain Conference in Brussels a couple of weeks ago. This was the first time he travelled alone as an adult, aged 43. All of this was historically linked to his own feeling of unworthiness and inadequacy.

Sean’s story begins in childhood, marked by years of not feeling “good enough.” This relentless inner critic eventually manifested as incessant running and starvation. After a couple of compliments on how he looked through initial fitness, he was locked into an ever-increasing path of torturous training. He was training to become invisible. He was running himself to death.

By his forties, with four children observing this pattern, Sean’s daily life was consumed by a regime where he was running many kilometres before ‘breakfast’. We don’t mention how many kilometres as this can be a trigger of competition for other anorexics who may feel they are not doing enough in comparison. His ‘breakfast’ would be the toast crusts after his children had eaten. They would remember the first time he eventually sat with them to eat a ‘normal’ meal. His daughter commented at that moment that he thought his dad only ever ran and ate different food to them.

Sean was lucky. A voice inside his head found a way to ask for help. When he arrived at St Patrick’s Mental Health Services in Dublin, they told him he was extremely close to death and needed urgent, instant treatment. Over a period of many weeks, Sean unlocked the hold this disease had over his head. He promised himself that if he could get through those months and gain recovery, he would dedicate his voice to this cause.

And that is what he has done.

Sean transformed his feelings towards himself, and took a path to healing through Compassion-Focused Therapy. One of the exercises was to write a letter to himself: a letter of forgiveness and love.

“That letter lifted something off my shoulders, I realised it wasn’t my fault. I am good enough.”

Today, Sean is a Shine See Change Ambassador, a member of NIMC’s lived experience committee (NIMC is the National Implementation Monitoring Committee that  oversees  ''Sharing The Vision'' Mental Health Policy in Ireland), part of the Service User & Supporters Council at St Patrick’s Mental Health Services. He also appeared in the RTÉ documentary Anorexia: My Family and Me, helping to reshape how we talk about eating disorders.

In our conversation, Sean shares how recovery means learning to speak kindly to oneself. We discuss the importance of the words used as a community around food and body image; seemingly harmless words about food, fitness or weight can deeply affect those in fragile states of mind.

Sean is particularly invested in working with Fitness Studios. Here, right under the observation of health advocates, lies a slightly hidden story of obsessive fitness to the point of anorexia athletica.

This episode is a reminder that even the hardest stories can lead to healing when spoken aloud.

https://www.instagram.com/seanblake80/?hl=en
https://www.stpatricks.ie/
https://about.rte.ie/2024/10/14/rte-airs-compelling-new-documentary-anorexia-my-family-me/
https://www.bodywhys.ie/
https://www.instagram.com/gamian_europe?igsh=MTVqZzd1cmNlNWk5Mw%3D%3D